Frequently Asked Questions

We meet one-on-one, either in person or online, in a quiet uninterrupted space. Here’s how it typically goes:

- We settle in & I read a short passage of scripture and/or open with prayer.

- We enter into silence, asking God to still our anxious hearts or pause our mental checklists. The directee (that’s you!) closes the silence by saying “Amen” or praying out loud.

- The directee shares something they believe God has put on their heart or mind and/or what came up for them during the silence.

- The director (that’s me!) asks clarifying questions and responds to the directee’s sharing and we explore the directee’s spiritual life through conversation.

- We close in prayer.

Anyone who has a desire for any or all of the following:

To deepen their relationship with God (a more meaningful prayer life, a more engaged heart & mind, etc.)

To seek direction through transition, loss, or doubt (desiring companionship or encouragement, a welcoming place to wrestle and wonder.)

To seek discernment in life’s big decisions (a change in vocation, location, or relationship)

To make space to be still (a place of rest to notice & delight in the work/presence of God in their life).

“There are many forms of “personal journeying” that help us grow. While more could be said, a simple way to think about the differences between counselors, coaches, and spiritual directors is this: Counselors and therapists skillfully help us unpack various dimensions of past hurts and wounds, and bring us on a path of healing and more authentic living. Coaches help us name and align around our vision for the future and take practical steps to get there. Spiritual Directors help us pay attention, and be responsive, to what God is doing in us and around us right now. All three modalities are interwoven and can be helpful during various seasons of life.” -soulcare.com

“…most spiritual directors are not therapists. If directors notice that a person needs to grow emotionally in order to better accept God’s grace, they gently steer that person toward other mental health resources that might be helpful.“ -seekdirection.app

In-Person (North County San Diego): I currently do not have a dedicated space to meet with directees but often direction happens in a church classroom or office. If you have use of a room at your church, I can drive to you. Otherwise, we can meet in Fallbrook.

It’s ideal to meet in a “sacred space” where there is a felt difference from daily life. This is why I won’t do direction within someone’s house with the exception of…

Online: For some individuals direction is only possible online due to transportation, distance, or scheduling. If this is the case, we can meet through video call.

Once a month (roughly every 3-4 weeks). Direction can be for a season or last for decades. It’s always a process of discernment of how long to continue meeting for. My recommendation is to do 4-5 Sessions to discern if you’re in the right season for direction and/or if we’re a good fit.

2025-2026 Suggested Sessions

Fall Sessions: Aug., Sep., Oct., Nov., Dec. (5 Sessions = $120, Initial Session is free)

Spring Sessions: Jan., Feb., Mar., Apr., May. (5 Sessions = $120, Initial Session is free even if continuing from Fall)

Summer Break: June & July

Yes. However, regardless of gender, the first sessions are a particular time of discernment for both the director and the directee, to see if we’re a good fit for continuing to meet together.

Sometimes differences of gender, culture, age, experience, denominational background, etc. can be a particular gift in direction. Sometimes they can create unnecessary barriers to sharing or listening.

If either of us discern that the latter is true, I will happily refer you to other resources for finding a director that may be a better fit for you. See the Spiritual Director Directory on my Resources page.

There’s nothing needed for you to bring or prepare for direction! Things that can be helpful:

- Praying ahead of time and considering what God might be stirring in you to share.

- Busy Life? Ask God to help you “put a pin in” all the daily tasks that lay before you so you can be present in the silence & stillness of direction. Close by thanking God for the fullness of your life.

- Online? Wear headphones to minimize distracting noises in your home or neighborhood. Light a candle. Grab a cup of tea. Create a small rhythm to help signal to yourself that you’re entering a time of rest and prayer with God and another.

We’ll focus on your experience with God and how it affects or is affected by the circumstances & practices of your life. The conversation is led by you, but we trust that God by his Spirit will “lead us into all truth.” (Jn. 16:13)

Questions such as the following can help us reflect & prepare: 

-What do I think God has been trying to say to me in the recent past?

-How has God been present for me in recent weeks? 

-When did God seem to be absent? 

-What spiritual practices have been particularly meaningful to me in recent weeks? 

-Which have been less meaningful than usual? 

-What do I seek from God at this point in my life?